Oh Blasphemite!

Time of year...

2010-12-08T02:45:00.003-05:00

Almost that perfect time of year. The time when it becomes so cold outside that just opening the door to my hole in the wall lets in a biting chill, the kind that feels like it scratches your face. The kind that dries everything out. The kind that makes you shiver in your sleep. The kind that makes whiskey taste better. The kind that makes me angry enough to write a bunch of bullshit on this website. I had a birthday recently. One more year down. Another step closer to getting old enough that I can get away with things. The one thing that keeps me from ending it all, most days, is knowing that one day I might live to be old enough to get away with cursing irreverently, smoking in places where it is not allowed, drinking earlier and earlier in the day, and of course, pinching the asses of any and all nurses in sight.

Anyway. I had my first terribly annoyed at work, seasonally, day at work today, so it felt like the time was right to write some life back into the Blasphemite.

I want you

2010-03-03T02:42:00.000-05:00

Rockin' back inside my heart...

Stogies

2010-03-01T23:43:00.001-05:00

I want to get into Cigars. Someone teach me. Collecting, tasting, smoking, pairing, history, all of it. I already know allll about Scotch, as my previous posts show, now someone tell me how to smoke cigars with my Laphroaig!

2010-03-01T03:33:00.001-05:00

When I got out of my car tonight I was so far under the influence that I took one step forward and fell too my knees. I may be bleeding profusely but all I can feel is my need for water. Please quench my thirst.

CROOKED TEETH

2010-02-28T18:33:00.003-05:00

So I don't, and wouldn't normally post a demo for a local band, or a band I didn't know really well... but Crooked Teeth is awesome, and Hash asked if I would share it with you guys... Band sounds like great early Poison Idea, with some of the only good female vocals in hardcore or punk.

Demo can be downloaded here: http://www.mediafire.com/?wjm5tzjnz3y
Or listened to here: CROOKED TEETH @ MYSPACE

Demo tape is out now on Sweet Dreams Recs. NE Tour in April with Total Wreck.

And because I know Hash, I'm gonna say that the drumming is great too or something. Listen to it for the great vocals though.

Out of body, Out of mind

2010-02-25T00:44:00.001-05:00

I have achieved a supreme state of transcendence.

Of course all I am doing with it is lounging on a futon listening to music and drinking a beer. That said, I am elsewhere. Don't bother talking, I cannot hear anything but the rhythms I see.

ADVOCACY

2010-02-18T01:52:00.002-05:00

My mind's eye is blind.

I'm releasing a set of three Advocacy C.D.s and a few writings. But they are already sold out. Sorry. You missed it.

I will be posting three treatises related to the Advocacy following and practice on this blog soon.

My Season is always spent...

2010-02-18T01:47:00.000-05:00

Jadis, si je me souviens bien, ma vie était un festin où s'ouvraient tous les coeurs, où tous les vins coulaient.

2010-02-01T23:17:00.002-05:00

Considering Hara Kiri, but realizing I have no private militia to help take over the Norfolk Naval base. Oh well, I guess I continue suffering.

SNOWED IN

2010-01-31T19:13:00.002-05:00

Snowed in. Over a foot of snow. No food left in my apartment. Broke, too. I do have a case of spring water, a case of beer, and six or seven bottles of Scotch. Oh, and some benzos. I guess I'll survive these three days off work, with all of this snow.

Watching kung fu classics to pass the time. Sleep all day. Fight the bear clan assassins all night. HYAAAA.

83% OF THIS BLOG IS SHIT

2010-01-25T00:24:00.004-05:00

THE INFAMOUS GEHENNA

This post is dedicated to one of the last truly dangerous bands in music, especially hardcore, the laugh-riot that it has become. Between the drug use, violence, imprisonment, and burrito consumption, this band has a rap sheet a mile long. Additionally, this is a band that will never even have the option to sell out... and if by some fluke they were given the chance, I have a feeling that their response would be one resulting in assault charges. This is a band that has never compromised their message of violence and hatred, nor have they ever compromised their performance. Ask anyone who knows anything of this band, they likely know a story or two involving an audience member being attacked by a member of the band during a Gehenna set.

Listen to Gehenna:
http://www.myspace.com/theinfamousgehenna

Read Mike Cheese's Mind:
http://apocalypsewestcoast.blogspot.com

Buy their new split 7" with California Love:
http://www.a389records.com

See them live at Chaos in Tejas, if you missed them in Baltimore.

Lookout for more from Gehenna at www.holyterror.com

3 day weekends

2010-01-18T03:54:00.002-05:00

On alternating weekends, I have three days off in a row from work. Within 5 hours of my last shift, I am usually asleep. I then wake up, and do not sleep for the next 48 hours.

This tiny room I live in... I haven't left in two days now. It is awesome to hide away.

2010-01-11T02:28:00.000-05:00

Watching Star Wars, playing chess digitally, and drinking a major macro-attempt at a Bock beer. I need to go to sleep, but am having the time of my life. Go figure.

We Keep Odd Hours

2010-01-04T03:06:00.002-05:00

Sleep for 24 hours. Wake at 11pm. Eat doritos. Drink 3 bottles of water. Watch Enemy at the Gates. Contemplate buying a Mosin rifle. Decide to wait till next month's rent is paid. Start drinking ~3am. Drink till dawn. Repeat.

"We keep odd hours."

Avtomat Kalishnakova

2009-12-22T23:47:00.002-05:00

I just ordered a gas powered AK-47 pellet gun. I hope it arrives in time for the family gathering on Christmas. I plan to waltz in with the following in hand or on my person: boots, boxers, whiskey, sunglasses, air-rifle. That should make a great impression. Hopefully I will have taken enough Benzos that I will make some poor choices, in slow-motion. Maybe I'll open fire at the Turkey. The pellets aren't made of lead, so who cares, right?

Happy holidays, shitheads.

My Analyst Says I Should Live In The Country

2009-12-22T01:19:00.002-05:00

"The Country makes me nervous. You've got crickets. And its quiet. There's no place to walk after dinner. And there's the screens with the dead moths behind them. You've got the Manson family, possibly. You've got Dick and Perry."

...

"Where's the God damned Valium!?"

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

2009-12-21T22:34:00.000-05:00

http://pimpmygun.doctornoob.com/app.html

Yee-Haw

2009-12-19T00:27:00.002-05:00

So the Blizzard of '09 is coming down. Slowly now, but there is more than enough snow and ice on the ground to make my fellow Richmonders turn into complete maniacs on the road. No one here can drive in the rain. Imagine what they do in the snow...

" SATAN IS REAL. WORKING IN SPIRIT. YOU CAN SEE HIM AND HEAR HIM IN THIS WORLD EVERY DAY. SATAN IS REAL. WORKING WITH POWER. HE CAN TEMPT YOU AND LEAD YOU ASTRAY."

Working my way to the bottom of a bottle again tonight. Keeping warm with my friends J & B. That's Justerini and Brooks for those of you who don't drink whisky that will put hair on your balls.

"I'M GOIN' STRAIGHT TO HELL. AIN'T NOTHING SLOWIN' ME DOWN. I'M GOIN' STRAIGHT TO HELL, SO YOU JUS' BETTER GIMME ONE MORE ROUND."

There is something dignified about drinking something with a history. I don't mean a brewing or distilling history. I mean a cultural history. American beers that have stayed true to their roots and the men (and I guess women, but fuck 'em) that drink it. Pabst comes to mind. I know plenty of limp wristed trend hoppers in their skinny jeans, with their art degrees who drink pabst for the price. Or because someone years ago noticed the price. And adopted it as the hipster art fag beer of choice. The reality is that the true pabst drinker would have no time, or patience for idealized political naivete, uninformed "graphic design" "art work", and fashions including, but not limited to: skinny jeans, septum piercings, dirty vans sneakers, and all things American Apparel. Try work boots. Get the fuck outta here.

"I BEEN BEAT UP BAD. I BEEN KICKED AROUND. I BEEN THROWN OUTTA EVERY OL' BAR IN THIS DAMN TOWN. I GUESS THEY DON'T LIKE THE WAY I LIKE TO HAVE FUN, 'CUS I'M ALWAYS OUT THERE, AN' I'M ON THE RUN, AND I'M RUNNIN' AND A GUNNIN' AND A LOOKIN' FOR A REAL GOOD TIME."

I've done so much trip I can't look you in the eye. If only that was my excuse. I've actually done so little "trip" I can't stand to look anyone in the eye, for fear of what I might do. Were I to have done "so much trip" I would probably be able to stare blankly. At you. In the eye.

Now excuse me while I depart for a trip across various planes of existence. Various realities. Various sleep states. Various states of chemically induced intoxication.

"WELL I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR EIGHT DAYS STRAIGHT, IT MUST'A BEEN THEM PILLS I TOOK. I BEEN TWITCHIN' AND TURNIN' AND SEEIN' VISIONS. IT MUST'A BEEN THEM PILLS I TOOK."

Cotton Mouth

2009-12-18T01:37:00.002-05:00

Something is fundamentally wrong about the state of alcoholic dehydration, manifested in the colloquial "cotton mouth", rearing its ugly head BEFORE I have gone to sleep. It's one thing as a hang-over symptom, but a pre-somatic consequence of imbibing? Fuck you; not cool.

Resurrection will be the death of innocence

2009-12-18T00:16:00.002-05:00

So looking around this room I live in... One. Single. Room.

I notice that my home begins to look more like that of a crazed politico (not the kind that rallies for a candidate... the kind that shoots a candidate from the building across the street with a high powered rifle)

On my futon/bed alone currently there sits: a small pile of U.S. Army field blankets, a surge protector, a copy of "APOCALYPSE CULTURE" edited by Adam Parfrey, an air pistol, a pair of scissors, two empty beer cans, and a half empty bottle of whisky.

My life has become Le Samourai, without the... stylization.

My black Docs are muddy, scuffed, and finally broken in. I drink more often that I eat. I take my scotch with no ice, and less water. I've watched "Il Conformista" 5 times in a month. I want to kill.

My life has become a primal scream. I dress in clothes that would not look out of place at a gun show. I frequent gun shows. Looking for deals. On rifles.

I own more weapons than my entire county combined. I carry a combat knife in my boot. In my suburban neighborhood. I assess store clerks as potential violent threats.

I work in medicine. I save lives. I preserve the future of the youth, and keep the old from moving on. I want the old to die, and the youth to see through my disillusioned eyes. I feel that not one soul I see on any given day has any idea how fucked we are. How fucked this country is. How fucked the world is. How fucked humanity is. How fucked this state is. How fucked this city is. How fucked this neighborhood is. How fucking naive they all are.

I talk with co workers. And take my jokes one step over the line. I laugh, they stare.

I watch violent pornography and only the punching/kicking/slapping/spitting is worth my attention. Sex is not personal, it's nothing but biology. The only thing that makes fucking worth the physical exertion is the possibility of feel new sensations. Like chipping a tooth, or breaking a finger, or tearing a muscle. Sexuality is far less complicated than the blind romantic would have you believe. Love is chemical.

"I GRIND MY TEETH INTO FANGS"

My floor is covered in shit. Black shit. Dead matter. Dust. Clothes; I cover myself with shit.

"No one 'knows' anyone, ever. Not really."

I sedate myself with chemicals. Anti-psychotic-depressant-convulsant-anxiolytic-alcoholic chemicals. My blood:outside psychoactive agent ratio is 1:1. Cut me open and I would bleed white powdered pills.

Fuck you. Look what you've done. I've gone and written myself into a stink.

Sunset Boulevard

2008-01-30T23:08:00.000-05:00

There are a few filmmakers in cinema history who I find truly inspiring. One among them has truly stood out in my mind recently: Kenneth Anger, patron saint of homosexual ritual magic avant-garde film world. If you aren't familiar, wikipedia has a decent primer. From there, Fantoma has two wonderful DVD sets containing all of Anger's primary work (as well as some unfinished stuff, such as Puce Moment, and Kustom Kar Kommandos)

Literature for the Handicapped

2008-01-21T22:18:00.001-05:00

I parked like a mile away, because I didn't know where the fuck this place was relative to the one other building I have ever been inside. I already have decided to skip a fair amount of this class. That, or I'm going to act like a pretentious cock. Literature for the Handicapped 101, starring: Me. Ten minutes before the first session, and I've already passed judgment on every single person in the room. All sixty of them. The TA has a big head. One girl tripped, and almost fell twice between the time she came through the door, and then time she plopped her ass down in the theater style seat. She must be retarded or something.

The syllabus is not a homework assignment. The deluded goatee next to me has already marked with neon highlighter (thoroughly, mind you) the entire fucking thing... 'Nuff said?

Class begins, and after discussing the format of the class, the professor (who seems like she knits, a lot) asks if anyone has a favorite work of literature. One guy, wearing a Jhonen Vasquez tee shirt (What the fuck? Is this kid 13?) raises his hand and hollers "ENDER'S GAME!" The professor isn't familiar with Orson Scott Card. 7th grade science fiction. Good, but middle school, nonetheless. A douche bag in a tweed jacket (with a bit of a mullet... but not the trendy, hipster kind) says, in a really haughty voice, that his is "actually a poem, "Annabel Lee" by E.A. Poe", which the professor (THANK GOD) was, in fact, familiar with.

Then it happened.

Some moron, cunt, wearing a pink North Face parka, tight, sky blue jeans, and white Sketchers (White trash... with money?) said it.

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone!"

I almost vomited. It was the most ridiculous thing I'd heard yet. I wanted to scream. I immediately looked to the professor, with hopes that she would shoot this ignorant piece of shit down.

Much to my dismay, she not only accepted the answer, but decided to use it as a springboard to the next stage of the discussion... "What makes a work of literature timeless? What makes us feel the need to study it long after it is written."

HOLY CHRIST IN FUCKING HEAVEN. I AM SURROUNDED BY THE LOWEST FORMS OF LIFE. HARRY POTTER READERS WHO ARE OVER THE AGE OF 13.

Coming attractions

2008-01-21T22:14:00.001-05:00

Lazy. Sorry. PS. God, where did you go?

2007-12-11T13:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm a lazy fucking douchebag. I know. I haven't updated in forever. Guess what? This isn't an update. Life has been busy as hell, but it goes on.

As such, this is a repost of an entry concerning some of my thoughts on religion, written for another blog, long ago.

Enjoy. Hail Satan.

"I'll preface this by saying that I am an atheist. I have no interest in having faith myself, however, I am fascinated by the ability of others to accept or live by a system of religion. I consider myself fairly qualified to discuss this subject, having read the King James version of the Holy Bible, and the New Oxford Edition, both in their entirety, as well as a fair number of texts concerning theology, and faith, by scholars such as Wink, CS Lewis, etc.

I have a problem with religion. I'm specifically picking on Christianity here, I know, but that's simply because I know more about it than other faiths.

The biggest hypocrisy I see in following an indoctrinated religion is that they all ultimately are rooted in books written by men, and feature events and/or concepts that are intangible in the physical world. Also, it seems important to note that most religions that exist today are actually an amalgamated form of other faiths. The "Christ" myth has existed in the majority of pre-christian faiths (Ancient Egyptians had the resurrection of Osiris, the Greeks had their Christ in Apollo).

The necessity of an all emcompassing religion to explain terrible things occurring in the world, with almost no concrete basis can be traced back to the beginning of civilization. What I've never understood is how someone could sit there and say that Christianity is more "real" or "applicable" than, for instance, an "out of date" system like the Greek Mythologies, which I'm pretty sure most people write off as being unused. They serve the same purpose. They both contain elements of the supernatural, the likes of which haven't actually ever been seen by any practitioners of said faith, but rather are simply recounted by men, in a book.

Then you have the contradictions that are put forth in the Good Book. The old Testament basically sets life up so that I can do anything I want, beat my children, murder my wife, keep slaves, etc. and then justify it with a passage from the Bible (Leviticus for the most part). The majority of the first portion of the Bible sets forth ground-rules that read as a guide to surviving as a powerless unorganized group of twelve Jewish tribes struggling to even exist (ie. Not eating pork, which would have been hard to keep fresh, and healthy in the situation of the Israelites of Old Testament times)

I will admit that the New Testament offers some philosophical concepts that can be applied fairly well to co-exist with your fellow man, but it also seems to be so very contradictory to what the Old Testament, which was also placed in the Canon by the Ecumenical councils early on, seems to offer. It also seems worth noting that the ideas of compassion and fraternity offered by Christ in the Gospels specifically, are not exclusive to Christianity, but rather, most faiths.

My favorite contradiction? The Apocrypha. Why does it even exist? What mortal man is worthy of discrediting a book supposedly inspired by God? A politically minded one. That's who. What best benefits me, and my burgeoning new religion? These books that I(spoken from the perspective of the Ecumenical Councils) have chosen to include are the books that will keep me in power over the members of my organization (the soon to be church, Catholic specifically)

Religion is, in my opinion and experience, simply a sedative for the uneducated. If one cannot come to terms with the fact that the nature of humanity has resulted in horror, such as war or genocide, then it can simply be blamed on an invisible, intangible, unapproachable figure who encompasses all things evil (the "Devil"/"Satan"), because the believer has no understanding of the world around him. Religion has always existed solely to explain the inexplicable. In our modern age of realism and science, which can all be proved, in the physical world around us, I fail to see where there is room for a supernatural redeemer and creator, who also allows evil to exist, rooted so very deeply in his creation. If God is good, by definition, then why does the world work the way it does. If God made everything, and had the power to make it any way he wanted to, then why would he make it so living creatures would have to die for others to survive? Why would a benevolent creator allow his creation to run amuck as it has? This paradox, this inexplicable, often unaddressed, often suppressed question lies at the heart of my atheism. I see the God of Christianity as a Loki. A mischievous, naive, sadistic trickster, and as such, I prefer to live in a world where I accept what I see, and what can be explained without drawing on the improbable, or the imaginary.
"

Fuck!

2007-12-02T18:52:00.000-05:00

Life is weird, man.

Just when I thought I was set in my ways, I get hit in the fucking nose with the ultimate curveball, and I really don't mind.

In fact, it's pretty cool.

2007-11-22T00:37:00.001-05:00

2007-11-17T01:11:00.001-05:00

2007-11-13T11:56:00.001-05:00

Who wants to give me 30-50 million dollars to write, produce, and direct the best western of the last 10 years?

Conservative Conundrum

2007-11-12T23:05:00.000-05:00

I'll be the first to admit it... In highschool I did a lot of the things that I did just for the sake of being different.

A little background: I graduated from a 95% white, upper-middle/upper class Episcopalian Private school in Confederate Heritage Richmond, Virginia, in 2006. I was the kid with the long faggot scene kid hair, the black band hoodies, the buttons all over my bag, etc. I wore a baphomet pendant around my neck, and a pentagram for a belt buckle. I would spew anti-christian theosophy at every turn, and I took great comfort in making them squirm.

That said, as a ninth-grader, I knew more about the history of the Holy Bible than the ditz who taught my "Biblical Studies" (essentially a week spent reading the Gospel of Mark... and a month and a half watching "Jesus Christ Superstar" and other Andrew Lloyd Weber drivel)

I really enjoyed when the older teachers (many of whom have never been beyond the borders of the great state of Virginia) would ask what the sticker on my binder said ("Circle of Dead Children" in essentially indecipherable deathgrind logo style). I reveled in their discomfort.

Really, what can a 67 year old republican who wears a web belt depicting every variation of the stars and bars (for the uninitiated... the Confederate flag) say to a 17 year old brat essentially chewing up and spitting out every aspect of their 1950's delusion?

I'll be turning 20 in less than a month, and will more than likely be voting Republican in the next presidential election.

Fuck me.

Indepenetration?

2007-11-10T21:58:00.000-05:00

In my personal opinion the "fine line" between exploitation/sexploitation cinema and pornography... should not, and realistically does not exist...

For instance, if one is going to watch a movie that falls into the sexploitation sub-genre, what is the appeal (to most)?

Naked bitches acting slutty. Duh.

If one is going to watch pornography, what is the appeal?

Naked bitches acting slutty. Also duh.

My point?

Porn and sexploitation are both the same thing, and I personally think that they both hold a significant place in the history of film, and even more so, in the history of societal moral evolution.

In other words, I really cannot understand the idea that pornography has some negative effect on anyone (except perhaps on the wife of a so called "porn addict")

I really don't know where I'm going with this...
I guess all I'm really saying is that anyone who has a problem with entertainment of any sort, whether it's violent video games, or videos of a woman deepthroating a horse, you should calm down. There are more important issues out there that you can hoot and holler about...

Parapsychotic Antimaterial Subliminal Abstractions!

2007-11-09T00:03:00.001-05:00

Caricature of Wealth

2007-11-08T00:06:00.001-05:00

2007-11-07T14:26:00.001-05:00

I love seeing hardcore kids in public places, with their parents.

First Post

2007-11-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

So uh, this is my new blog. Hopefully it will take off, but I never really know with these things.

Last night I almost did something that would have resulted in immediate termination from my place of employment. Fortunately I contained my emotions, and refrained from hopping the counter to choke a 5 year old.

If you take your kids out in public... they better not fuck up my store.